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Short Canadian Jokes

Q: What does a Canadian say when you step on his foot?

A: "Sorry"

Trick question:
If America and Canada got into a war, where would all the draft dodgers go?

Q: What do you call a Canadian fireman?

A Hoser

What's another name for a Canadian Mountee?

A: Canadian Bacon.

Maybe you'd like to know our top military secret. But I'm not going to tell you where we hid the keys to the boat.

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q:Why does Lucien Bouchard like the idea of Rita McNeil having a tattoo of Canada on her ass?

A: Everytime she sits down Quebec seperates.

Q: Did you hear about the Newfoundlander who died drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on him.

Q. Why did the Newfie wanted Quebec to separate?

A. He wanted to be closer to Ontario.

When a Canadian thinks of Hell..he wonders what the heating bill must be.

In Canada we have two Seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

6 years ago Prime minister Brian Mulroney called George Bush and he asked him: "Why the hell did you take Dan Quayle as vice-president?"

Q: How do you empty a swimming pool of Canadians?

A: "Excuse me, could everyone please get out of the pool?"

The first question an Albertan asked the tour guide, when they approached the Eiffel Tower, was "How many barrels a day does it produce?"

he College was asked by Statistics Canada to provide some employment information, including, "How many people do you employ, broken down by sex?"
The person filling in the form entered this comment: "Not many; most of our staff is broken down by booze."

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

In Canada we have two Seasons - Six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" said the guest.