The Canonical List Of OUtrageous Country/Wester Song Titles

The Canonical List of Outrageous Country/Western Song Titles

"Don't Cry On My Shoulders Cause You're Rustin' My Spurs"

"I Can't Love Your Body if Your Heart's Not In It"

"I Meant Every Word That He Said"

"I Wanna Whip Your Cow"

"I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out of Town."

"I Would Have Writ You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yecch!"

"I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win"

"I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me than a Frontal Lobotomy."

"I'll Get Over You, as Soon as You Get Out From Under Him"

"I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate our Home."

"I'm Just A Bug On The WIndshield of Life."

"I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here"

"I've Got Four On the Floor and a Fifth Under The Seat"

"I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back in My Bed 'n' Cryin' Over You."

"If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You"

"If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?"

"If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low"

"If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love"

"If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will"

"It Takes Me All Night Long To Do, What I Used To Do, All Night Long"

"Learning to Live Again is Killing Me."

"My Every Day Silver Is Plastic"

"My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus"

"Oh, I've Got Hair Oil on My Ears, and My Glasses are Slipping Down, but Baby I Can See Through You."

"Please Bypass This Heart"

"She Got the Ring, I Got the Finger."

"She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty"

"She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without."

"Swing Wide Your Gate of Love"

"Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone"

"There Ain't No Waste in My Baby's Love Canal"

"They May Put me in Prison, but They Can't Stop My Face from Breakin' Out."

"When the Phone Don't Ring, Baby, you'll Know it's me."

"You Can't Deal Me All the Aces and Expect Me Not to Play."

"You're Ruining my Bad Reputation."

"You're The Reason Our Baby's So Ugly"

Do You Love As Good As You Look?

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose

My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life